If you haven’t heard, Skebaby #4 is on the way! We’re due for another blessing in the fall!
The news of this new life came after three dear mama friends in my life had suffered the loss of miscarriage. As a tired mom to three already, my positive pregnancy test might’ve tempted me to feel burdened by all the labor, pain, sleeplessness, and work ahead. But the Lord was gracious to give me those days of grief with my friends to remember what a precious gift all life is for however long we have the privilege of carrying it here on this earth. So, this exhausted mom of three going on four has nothing but JOY and gratitude in her heart for this little one (and many prayers on her lips to supply strength for each day!)
Last week, we had our 20-week anatomy scan. And while I was a little gun-shy about doing a gender reveal, my sweet nieces insisted on hosting a small one for us. (Bless their hearts.)
Now, let me give you some background. As you can see, I have three sons. What you may not know is that I also have two big brothers and no sisters. All my life, I have sincerely longed for familial female companionship. That does not mean that I do not absolutely LOVE my brothers (honestly, these guys are my best friends in adulthood–not overstating.)
It also does not mean that I do not absolutely LOVE the mess out of each one of my sons. They are each a unique blessing, reflecting different glimmers of our Heavenly Father, bringing me new joy, fresh challenges and increased faith.
I’ve come to recognize that God is never haphazard about who He does or does not place in our lives. He has been purposeful to deprive me of biological sisters — it’s caused me to forge deeper relationships with my sisters in Christ. He has been purposeful to deprive me of a biological daughter — it’s caused me to take extra delight in my nieces and the little girls at church. And He’s even been purposeful to deprive me of the local presence of my own Mom — it causes me to reach out for help around me which she would fulfill in a heartbeat if she could! I see all of this, and I’m thankful that God’s sovereign hand has ordained my days.
But all of this truth up in here has never replaced my earnest heart desire for a daughter. If I can be honest and you won’t think me ungrateful for the absolute gift and blessing of a healthy baby, I’ve had tearful conversations with the Lord after my second and third ultrasounds revealed yet another son on the way. I remember praying, “Lord, why? You know the longings of my heart. You have the power to give me a daughter. Why still no, Father?” and in my darker moments, I thought. “Is this my life? Trapped in a house full of boys who never stop moving and stare at me like I’m an alien when I’m crying?!” and in my less selfish moments, simple prayers like, “Lord, you’ve chosen me to raise these boys. Please give me contentment. Please help me to think outside of my own desires and seek after the bigger picture of raising young men– eternal souls destined for somewhere–to know and follow you. Develop in me the fruit I’ll need to do this faithfully.”
So there’s the background of Kate Skero and her high hopes for a little girl dashed three times over. Now let’s skip to the months leading up to news of this pregnancy: my 3-year-old and 5-year-old sons were praying for a baby sister. (My 1-year-old also prayed along with them, but, ya know, he speaks in a tongue only the Lord Himself understands so I cannot confirm or deny his desire for a baby sister. :P)
A good friend of mine (whose advice I’ve blogged about in the past) once encouraged me to let my kids pray whatever is on their hearts. Let their Father who hears and cares answer them without you as a parent trying to either make that prayer easier to answer or simply fulfilling it yourself. She cited the example of her toddler son praying for a green shirt–something most parents could fairly easily fulfill. But they waited some months until they received a donation of clothing for their family with, what do you know, a green shirt just her son’s size on the top! Together, parents and children got to ascribe glory to the Lord for that answered prayer in the form of a green t-shirt.
So it was hard for me to hear my sons pray the prayer that I had prayed in the past and received three firm NO’s on before. But I didn’t hinder them. I didn’t attempt to soften their requests. I simply followed their prayers up with, “Lord, they are yours more than they’re mine, help me to trust that Your answer to their prayers will be the best thing for them and their relationship with You.”
News came in January that God was, indeed, going to bless us with another little life. We all still prayed for this baby to be of the sister variety, but we added that we trusted Him no matter what His will was for our family. I primed the boys with all the wisdom I’d gained from three gender reveals not going the way I prayed before — “God knows who we need and who needs us! And I wouldn’t return one of you. So let’s be happy with whoever God gives us!”
So without further ado, here is our gender reveal:
(One color balloon had holes poked in it and the other didn’t. Also, don’t mind our crying toddler who was terrified of the silly string and ready for a nap.)
IT’S A GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What foreign words to say for this BoyMom! I’m still turning the ultrasound pics over looking for a penis the sonographer might’ve missed! I am in shock. My boys are a little dazed in the video, but make no mistake, we are all absolutely delighted to be welcoming a baby girl into our family.
And I see it now, y’all. I couldn’t see it two years ago or four years ago or six years ago, but I see it CLEAR AS DAY now that the Lord told me NO three times so that He could tell me along with my three precious sons who are growing every day in their understanding of who exactly this great God is, YES! Yes, boys, I heard you. Yes, boys, I’m going to give you the desire of your hearts. Yes, boys, you can keep bringing all of your little and big concerns to me and I as your Father will hear and act in your best interest.
Yes, boys, it’s a sister.
Yes, Kate, she’s still a sinner and she’ll still exhaust you and she’ll bring you to the end of yourself just like the others. But yes, Kate, it’s a daughter. <3
~May every one of these blessings in all of their neediness drive me to the feet of my Savior in all of my neediness.~
Thanks for hearing our story so far. It’s not quite as relatable as I prefer to make my writing, but it was a story the Lord laid on my heart to tell. I hope it might strike a chord with some of you–perhaps you have a different unfulfilled heart desire. Let me encourage you to persevere in trusting the Lord with or without Him fulfilling it!
If nothing else, would you join me in ascribing glory to His name? He is always worthy. We appreciate your prayers in the months to come as this story is far from finished!
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Congratulations, Katie! Great writing.
Thanks so much, Dawn! Hope you and yours are well up there! :)
Thank you for sharing this story. I myself am a boy mom of 2 and my older son is praying along with me for a baby sister. I’m trusting God completely and believing He will do it as this will be our 3rd and last – I’m 37. I actually started Googling about praying for a specific gender and came across this! I’m truly happy for you and your boys and I pray that I can testify like this soon. Xo
Oh Kemmy, how sweet and providential that you found my humble corner of the internet. I hope you get that baby girl too and I’d love to hear about it either way. We do love our one year old sister toddling around these days. She can still be a bruiser like the boys and will push anybody out of my lap if she’d like, but she also has this lovely nurturing way about her where she kisses and hugs and runs to anyone who is hurt or sad. It makes me hope I get to see her become a mother one day. I’m pregnant again and with a BOY, a fourth boy for our family, and I’m just resting in the trust I have that the Lord is the author of life. Each one He gives has a purpose so far beyond little old me and our home and what I think is best for our family. They’ll have spheres of influence I’ll never reach, and their gender will undoubtedly play a large role in all of that. And more importantly, they’ll have an eternity to live for–they’ll stand alone before the Throne of God–not as a pack of brothers, but as individual image bearers who must answer for their sin. I hope I can live and teach and nurture them all in such a way that–boy or girl–their answer will be “Jesus.” Hugs to you, Kemmy! God bless you!
I’m so thrilled to here your success story, I can relate myself I have three loving BOYS and now I have a this burning desire to finally get a GIRL. I’ve been crying and praying everyday that God would please bless me to have a BABYGIRL. Your story gave me so much hope. My only question is did you completely just trust GOD or did you also try any medical theories to help sway for you gender?
Hi Tiffany! It’s so good to know that we’re not alone with the longings of our hearts. <3 We never tried anything medically, no. Prayers of "whoever we need, whoever needs us--send that child, Lord," were on our lips often. We now have a beautiful, sweet and a little bit sassy one year old girl toddling around the house, and guess what? I'm pregnant with her baby brother right now. I would've chosen a sister for her myself, but I'm so glad that I'm not writing this story. I'm too close to the letters to know what next word is best. God, however, sees the whole big picture--from creation to eternity--and He is writing the story.I know I can trust Him, and I know you can too. God bless you, sister! I hope He gives you the desire of your heart, but if not, He is still good. And I'm sure you'd never want to return even one of your precious boys. <3
Hi Kate,
This may sound weird but can you ask your sons to pray that same prayer for me lol. I’d definitely love a girl. I am also trying to adjust my heart so that I won’t be too disappointed if it is a boy. I’m praying everyday but I also trust in God and i ask my family to also pray for my hearts desire.
Thanks
Congrats on your other boy on the way!! Thank you for sharing your story.
I have three girls despite longing for a son for years. Maybe is a lesson for being a womanizer in my younger years. I prayed for a boy but, it seems this is my fate. I love my girls but I still grieve not having a son.
This is such a timely message for me right now. God bless you for sharing.
I have trusted God twice for a baby girl but have received two NOs. Am expectant and my prayer is for a daughter. I have been struggling because of my faith and God’s planned will over my unborn…I have faith that He can see my deepest longing for a baby girl… unwavering faith…but people around me keep saying any child is a blessing. What most don’t understand is that am not refuting…every child is God’s blessing to man..that we may raise a godly generation. But they fail to see my point… unwavering faith means believing with all you’ve got..no room for, but God, am okay with any. The truth is that I am and will be grateful. But practicing faith require that I believe against all things that God will answer my prayer. What am I saying…am trusting God for a YES this last pregnancy.
I have three amazing boys..am the only gal in my house. I trust God for a daughter. Do I pray..God, let thy will be done…I want to….but I can’t. Why.. because I an trusting God for a baby girl.
Hi Kezia, reading your comment felt like you had been listening in on my conversations with myself, this is exactly how l feel.
I pray God met you at your point of need and gave you your daughter.
Thank you so much for your story Kate. This was so awesome to read and gave me much more hope in my story to tell one day. I’m a boy mom of 4 and I love my babies with everything in me, but we just pray God finally hears our cry for a baby girl. This story was everything. No matter how it turns out, I’m still very grateful. Thank you. God bless you and your family.
I can relate to your story. I am a mother to two boys and they are 18 months apart. After a miscarriage, infertility and IVF , I finally have birth to my first son. It took me by surprise when my baby was just 9 months old to find out I was pregnant. It was spontaneous. But out Lord knows his plans and everything is perfect in his time. When I found out he was a boy (another boy) I cried for año hour straight. I know I sound ungrateful for being disappointed with the baby’a gender but… I couldn’t help it. Then i felt guilty for de those feelings because after experiencing infertility …why would I even get sad for having a healthy son on my way?
My second boy’s name is Matthew (gift from God) for heavingly Father truly gifted us with his precious life to be a partner and company to my eldest son.
I still long for a daughter and pray for one… even though I have a 16 year old stepdaughter who I try to give my love and support (in the best way I can).
I will continue to pray for a daughter or acceptance in Gods plans for us. But it will be in his hands… not mine.
Your testimony, made me cry happy tears and warmed my heart.
Lots of love
from mexico
Trini
May the lord that did it for you do it for me.