Dear fair-weather baby-holders,

You know who you are.

You’re the ones who hold the baby at the restaurant while we order and wait, but as soon as the food comes, that baby goes right back to mom or dad.

You reach your loving arms out toward my sleeping child as if you’re sent from above to hold him at the easiest point of his day, but once he’s awake and demands interaction, I’ll know to expect him back.

You love inhaling the sweet baby smell when he’s fresh out of the bath and lotioned-up but exactly when that diaper is soiled, you couldn’t hold him with straighter arms in my direction.

You’ll bounce babies all day long when they’re happy and smiley but if they’re overtired and have an upset stomach? Forget it.

You can’t pass a baby back fast enough when spit-up is spewing from his mouth (even though it was probably your fault for holding my baby with your arm PRESSED against his stomach, just saying.)

You’d like to hold the baby but you’ll wait until mom wipes away the snot or cleans off the mashed avocado that is up to his elbows.

You’ll rock a baby all day if you can just sit in a chair, but if that baby wants you to walk him around because sitting is boring for babies? Straight back to the parents.

You’re a fair-weather baby-holder. You know who you are. And we moms know who you are. There’s nothing especially wrong with you, because it’s not your job to do the hard, unpleasant, messy things for our babies. Truly, that’s on us. It’s what we signed up for. And we know that.

But it’s just important for you to know that you’re not helpful. And most of you think that you’re being helpful. You take our babies when they’re calm. Those times that we would actually enjoy keeping for ourselves, and you don’t think twice about interrupting whatever task we thought we could do to return our babies when their needs are most urgent.

Holding a happy, sleeping, contented baby is nice, I get it. It’s preferable. It’s like 75 degree weather. I enjoy holding happy babies so much that I became a mom to do it often!

But hey, just bear in mind that your fair-weather baby holding is for you, not for me. And if you want it to be for me? Then weather the storm. Let mom eat her dinner while it’s hot for once, change a stinky diaper so she doesn’t have to, walk that fussy baby around the house while mom relaxes. And if you do any of that? You’re no longer a fair-weather baby-holder, you’re just a really good friend.

With utmost sincerity,
Moms with cute babies you want to hold