Did I really just pay admission for myself, too?
Is “museum” the right word here? Like really, how are we defining “museum” these days? Because this just looks like a giant play place chaos fest–letsbehonest.
My kid is going straight for the Legos. We have a tote of Legos as tall as him at home and he hasn’t touched them in weeks. But go ahead, buddy, play with the germ-infested Legos we drove half an hour and paid 18 dollars to see.
Speaking of germs, can we get a snotty nose screening checkpoint, TSA style? I can’t handle all these dripping noses near my healthy children.
Okay, okay I see there are lots of fun things to do here, I’m glad we came–MUST DO ALL THE FUN THINGS.
Haven’t you played at this station long enough, sweetheart? Don’t you want to move along and try everythi–I mean–something new?
Ooookay, maybe we don’t need to try on the costumes. How many kids have tried on these costumes? Someone get me tracking information on where the snotty-nosed kids have been.
A Children’s Museum is a great place to go if you want to see your kid have the time of his or her life while you stand awkwardly watching them amongst fellow parent strangers.
Seriously, why is there not more seating for adults here?
Can you please invest the profit from adult tickets into seating for us??
A child just ran into me and told me it was my fault. I was standing still.
There is at least one child per square foot in this place.
THIS IS INSANITY.
I’m not claustrophobic but is kid-strophobic a thing? If it is, I’m feeling it HERE.
I hope my kid doesn’t rip that toy out of that other kid’s hand.
He ripped it, alright, time to intervene. Make me the bad guy.
Yes darling, I’d love to sit in this tiny chair while you pretend cook me an imagination meal! Can this chair hold me?
I hope that kid doesn’t steal my kid’s toy when he’s not looking.
HE DID STEAL IT. Right out of his hands. SECURITY!
Get a grip on yourself, self, children need to learn to resolve conflict themselves.
Man alive, I could go for a cushioned chair. Or a latte.
How long have we even been here? Surely it’s time for lunch and nap now?
Ten minutes? TEN MINUTES?!
Oyyyyy. Send help. And seating.
**two hours later**
What a fun time we had, sweetie! Did you love it? Do you feel smarter? DO YOU FEEL LIKE YOU LEARNED THROUGH PLAY? Good. GOOD. Totally worth it. Let’s get a membership and keep my love-hate relationship with Children’s Museums alive and fiery.
Anyone else ever think these crazy thoughts at a Children’s Museum or am I the only one? Have something to add? Please comment below!
Thanks for laughing with me, I write other mildly funny stuff too: