I’m not really sure when it happened…
But somewhere down the line, I stopped being a *new* mom.
My beginning ended.
My inexperience vanished.
My ignorance to what this life would hold has been slightly more informed.
I’m not a first time mom anymore. I’m not even a “young” mom anymore. And that’s a weird thought because I still think of myself as young and new to this.
I’m NOT saying that I’ve arrived at any state of knowing it all: quite the opposite actually–the longer I raise children, the more I realize I have to learn. The more grace I extend to other mothers. The more I recognize my utter dependence on a sovereign Lord. The more I grasp for a rope thrown back by an older, wiser sister in Christ.
What I need to shake is the idea that I am so inexperienced, so young, so foolish (let’s be honest) that I have nowhere to reach but up and have no ropes to throw back myself. I think I get stuck in the mindset that I have nothing to give anyone in these maxed out years with little children at home. I can’t help; I can only be helped. I can’t pour; I can only be poured into.
But I’m ahead of some other people in life now, and that’s the truth. There are new mothers sprouting up all around me. There are young ladies looking at potential husbands with throbbing hearts. There are newlyweds and first time pregnancies. There are mothers a season or two behind me. And they could use a rope, too.
And I’m not really sure when it happened…
but all of a sudden I’ve realized that I’ve got this rope raveled up over my shoulder. It’s like I was so busy climbing, I didn’t see it gathering there as I found footing to take my own next step up.
Six months ago, I was challenged to throw out my rope. I railed against that challenge. “I’m too busy.” “I’m not strong enough.” “I’m not even that sure if I’m going the right path, why should I pull someone else along it?” Or perhaps my most convincing excuse: “I don’t have everything together at home, how can I extend myself beyond these walls?”
But I threw the rope I had. I extended myself a little bit.
I started meeting with a friend once a week to study God’s Word. And I reached out to a young mother facing a crisis pregnancy and have walked closely with her through every scary and every joyful step. Both have transformed me–deepening my faith in this Lord and Savior I call upon.
And what I didn’t realize before is that when you start pouring yourself into a younger believer, you get filled at the same time. Teachers tend to learn the material they’re teaching better than their students just about every time. Forcing myself to step away from the duties of motherhood even just one evening a week has refreshed my focus on what I’m doing all of this for anyway, and I think the effect has been the same for these sweet women who are climbing with me now.
If you know me, the last thing I ever want to do is tell a mother that what she’s doing isn’t enough. I’ll go to my grave saying that you don’t need a job on the side or a side hustle or some meaningful hobby to validate yourself as a successful woman. It’s usually the pressure of one more thing that causes us to mix up our priorities and lose touch with the very high calling of being a mother and wife–having a life-giving home and owning what a beautiful impact that self-sacrificing work will have on eternity. It must come first. But it doesn’t have to be perfected for you to throw some rope backwards. And in my limited experience of throwing rope, I’ve never run out. Each time I throw some, the Lord graciously tosses more my way. I extend myself; He extends more grace. I am finite and prone to failure but I’ve got a relationship with the One who is infinite and has never failed–not even once.
So I offer the same challenge that was offered to me at the beginning of this year. It was a challenge I wasn’t comfortable with. It was a challenge that made me want to dodge a small group I had just joined (LOL.) I came up with a dozens of [what I thought were] completely valid excuses. But it bothered my heart enough to feel like it wasn’t these people pushing me somewhere uncomfortable; it was the Holy Spirit guiding my next steps. So I made the leap in trust. I’m still learning, I’ve by no means “arrived,” but I’m here to say that it sure feels good to throw some rope back. It’s life-giving, faith-deepening, soul-transforming stuff.
And it really just started with a text that said, “Hey, would you like to study the book of Galatians with me?”
If you enjoyed this post, I think you might also like…
Leave a Reply